Wow it's been such a long time since I last updated srry about that, i've been really busy with work, I like my job the rules there are so leaniant, like they allow the staff to do pretty much anything they want as long as they make the customers happy.

       Me and Carly seem to becoming more distant, in a way it hurts that are friendship is falling apart. I have become distanced from a lot of my friends this summer, the only people I ever hung out with was Carly, Justinna, Kari, and Shroobie. The summer sucks, because there is nothing to do to occupy my time other than work.

     Well I have to go get ready for work ttyl, bye.

                                                                             `~`Lazarus`~`

I just had to incorporate this picture into a blog some how.......

We are only given one chance one moment to show the world who and what we are. We are a kind and compassionate race, but yet we a cruel and cold hearted at the same time, but in all of all lives there is one person, one moment, one oppertunity to make a difference. We all eventually meet someone who makes such an impact on our lives that we'd do anything to keep them in it.......  To Carly, my best friend!!!

                                                                     ( the inscription reads: We are are only given one chance, one moment, to shine and show the world who we are. we our only give one heart to give, one soul to seek, there no turning back, use the time you are given wisely. Always follow your heart no matter what the cost.      ~Lazarus~)   The picture has a long and funny story involved with it including Carly, Nicole, and myself. They truly are my best friends love you guys.

                                                                                         ~Lazarus~

Ok i've gone several nights without sleep so I've been thinking.

I kno where my heart is set, and I could nvr give anyone the full attention that they need or deserve because of it, but sometimes you just need to learn to let go of what ur heart feels because if you dont and the place ur heart is set doesnt work out you will truly feel pain and loss stronger than that of any.

I have learned from many past experiences that you can't always follow you heart no matter how much it hurts you sometime just have to let go. You can't always dwell on that that once was, you must learn to move on or you will go down a road that leads to nothing but pain and darkness. I have entered on a journey down that road more than once.

I often tend to dwell on the past, which in the long run causes more pain than any human being should have to deal with. I've been sitting here the past few days thinking about where im going to go in life, I have seen two paths one of a family and a maintnancing business, and the other is the pre-mentioned road to darkness. I kno what I need to do but to completly change ones own life completly wehn they have nothing to believe in, is a thing that is hard for everybody.

I've been told once that everyone is entitled to happyness, because Jesus says it should be so. But than why are so many of us Deppressed? It's because we nvr believed in anything with any moral.

Hey Everyone I think that it would be best to explain why I've been in a deppressing mood lately. On saturday me and Carly broke up, because she wants to go back to her ex. I am happy for her though because they both love eachother and she is happy when she talks to her ex, and thats all I want is for her to be happy. I would like to apologize to a few people, First: to Carly I am srry for what I have put you through the past few days, im glad that your happy. Second: to Nicole srry I didnt kno I was being an emo bitch, lol, and my forhead did press against the keyboard I passed out for a few moments while typing that, lol. Third: Annie yes I kno I cant type for shit, lol, and yes we are going to hang out today, call me!!! and finally Fourth: to the Mindsay community for having to listen to my emo bitch bullshit, lol, eh I have some type of deprression disorder and severe emotional disorders, hey I'm going to end up in a mental institution, lol. well once again everyone I am srry.

But in later news I got a job at Hardees, lol.

Darkness,

Depression,

Despair,

the three things that consumed my soul,

and I never let anybody kno.

I was close to death,

I was such a mess.

Nothing mattered anymore,

I had nothing going for me.

Than along cam an angel,

so kind and caring,

her beauty unmatched by any,

in all of the heavens.

She showed me a life,

A life of love and happiness.

You are my world,

I think about you day and night,

you have chased away all my fright.

Eh, I suck at writting, lol so whats up people I havn't written in a while, I guess its because I havnt been home much but yea. Im really happy these days. I'm learning how to play the guitar its fun but my fingers hurt. I'm so bored though, Yawn. well g2g bye.

                                                                  Lazarus

I am bored out of my mind, there is nothing to do in this little piece of shit town. Last night I had fun though, I went bowling with my girlfriend, our friend Justinna, and Justinna friend from work. But before we went bowling we went out for coffee and Ice cream, it was fun. I've been sitting here for the past hour starring at the same spot at the wall. Rawwrrr!!! I have some major heart burn, it sucks!!!! I'm still really bored. Battlestar Galactica is on, lol. I havn't seen this show since I was a lil kid, lol. My back is so sore, its worse than it was yesterday, grrrrr.

                                                                                            `~`Lazarus`~`